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 whee-

Michael
sevenpluseight
raffles
180490
rimb
risc
trombones

kamaraden
ali
binggy
Aaron
edlyn
gk
linky
hanxin
michelle
mila
ramona
remus
royCE
woonie
zach

Posers



Who?

Where?

What?


Tuesday, March 22, 2005

It is late at night, and thinks float through my head.

I think first of all: what am i?

Person of many faces. Or maybe I just think I am. Michael the mugger, michael the buaya, michael the stupid prefect, michael the awkward adolescent. Why? Why so many? Why can't I just be Michael, rather than having all these labels pinned onto me? I'm used to them by now, the way I act depends the expectations that people have of me in that situation. Exam/competition coming up? Michael should be uber mugger. Girl within 15 metres? Michael the super-buaya takes over.

Why am I being forced into these moulds of behaviour? Why can't I just do what I want to do, be who I want to be? Why predict what I will do, then enforce such prediction through that oh-so-convenient tool of peer pressure.

What was I going to do in the first place? I've already forgotten. I can't remember what its like to be myself, what its like to act without regard for consequences. Always the calculation, observation, long thought before action. Gone is the spontaenity, the life. Michael has been taken over by a badly-programmed robot, almost identical but not quite. Michael has forgotten who Michael is.

Am I happy? I don't know. What's it like to be happy? It is not ignorance - I shall never go down that slippery slope again. Is it love? Probably not. Love, (my) love is painful. It amplifies the experiences rather than changing them. Happiness is made more wonderful, but so is the suffering.

Or maybe its simple: I just want to be myself... whoever that guy is.

I'll be happy if someone loves me.

With or without you
U2

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you

Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you

With or without you
With or without you

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I'm waiting for you

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

My hands are tied
My body bruised, she's got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you
With or without you

SYF rehearsal was good. I wish I could play like that more often. I wish I could get a new instrument with fewer dents and less rust. I wish we can get gold with honours.

Somebody said that at 12:14 AM

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